How many times have you said to yourself, "Self, I wish I could help out George Newman and buy a piece of U-62 stock." Well, now you can!!! FOR FREE!!!!
Download STOCK.ZIP. You will need WINZIP or some other decompression program to unzip the file. It contains one file called STOCK.DOC. STOCK.ZIP is 38,485 bytes. STOCK.DOC is 114,176 bytes.
Email me and ask for your stock certificate number. I will add you to the list of stockholders once I assign your number. Please tell me how you want your name to appear so I don't have to guess at the spelling. You can use a nickname if you want. If you want to remain anonymous, please let me know. Please make sure you provide a valid email address and/or remove any spam blocks so I can get in touch with you with your stock number. I won't try to track you down or figure out how to get past your spam block if the message bounces back to me undeliverable. Your email address will not show on this page. In fact, after I reply with your stock number, I delete the entire email including the email address from my mailbox. In accordance with COPPA, and frankly just because it's a good idea anyway, children under 13, you must get your parent's permission and have Mom or Dad e-mail me, on your behalf, for a number.
To personalize the certificate, you will have to change the certificate number in the upper left hand corner. Highlight "UHF7500" with your mouse and type in the number I assign to you. About half way down, there is a spot for your name. Highlight the box and enter the relevant material.
Print the sucker out, frame it, and hang it on the wall.
That's it. Go! Do it! What are you waiting for?
This stock certificate is for entertainment purposes only. I don't think I really need to say this, but by downloading this stock certificate you're just pretending to own a piece of stock in U-62. Remember kiddies, "UHF" was just a movie (a darn good one too!) so channel 62 doesn't even exist.
It's FREE now, FREE tomorrow, and will always be 127% absolutely FREE! If anyone asks for money, don't send it, because it's FREE.
One more thing, you do not have to download a certificate to become a stockholder, nor do you have to become a stockholder to download a certificate. If you need the file mailed to you or a printout mailed to you please let me know.
Current stock price: $10.00
Here's a current list of stock holders listed by number. You must e-mail me to request a stock certificate number and be added to the list. You may remain anonymous.
Sandy Brie Butler
Luke "Skywalker" McCullough
Unruly Julie Jiles
Brian Charles Helms
Jon! "Bob" Katz
Shadow of the Darkness
"Crazy Ray" Karaliunas
Charles Louis Hopkins IV
Jg, Warrior Mars
Mandy "Weirdo" Kuhns
Chris "Bassoon" George
Ross Edward Rogers
Bettie "Zarebeth" Evanson
Daniel Frohman the Master of Utterly Useless Knowledge